Freddie Flintoff admits ‘I wish I’d died’ as he opens up on Top Gear crash and takes aim at BBC bosses in latest documentary
Former England cricket legend Freddie Flintoff has revealed he sometimes wished he had died following his horrific Top Gear crash in 2022.
In a raw and emotional new Disney+ documentary premiering this Friday, the 47-year-old opens up about the life-changing accident that left him with severe facial injuries.
The film shows stills from the crash site and graphic images of his injuries as Flintoff speaks candidly about the physical and psychological trauma he has endured.
He also criticises television bosses for treating him “like a piece of meat” in their relentless pursuit of ratings, with the documentary providing unprecedented access to Flintoff’s recovery journey over the past two years.
Flintoff recounts the accident in chilling detail, describing how he was driving a Morgan Super 3 three-wheeler with no roof when it flipped over: We were probably doing about 40 or 45. They were showing me how to get the car going sideways, and a wheel came up at the front.”
In a split-second decision, he chose to land face-first to avoid breaking his neck or worse and recalled: “I knew if I got hit here on the side [of his head] I’d break my neck, on the temple I’m dead. My best chance is face down.
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The car dragged him face down along the runway for about 50 metres, leaving the star to add: “I remember hitting and my head got hit and I got dragged out. I thought I was dead because I was conscious. I couldn’t see anything.”
In his darkest moments, he admits to having wished the crash had been fatal and confessed: “After the accident, I didn’t think I had it in me to get through. This sounds awful. Part of me thinks I should have been killed. Part of me thinks I wish I had died.
“I didn’t want to kill myself, I won’t mistake the two things, but I just, I was not wishing, I was thinking this would have been so much easier.”
In the documentary, Flintoff delivers a scathing critique of television production values, particularly at the BBC and said: “That’s the danger that TV falls into and I found out the hard way, eventually.”
He claims there was constant pressure for more spectacular content: “Everybody wants more, everybody wants that thing that nobody has seen before, everyone wants that bigger stunt.
“I should have been cleverer on this, because I learnt this in sport as well… and was just treated like a piece of meat. That’s TV and sport, I think that’s where they’re quite similar. You’re just a commodity, a piece of meat.”
The physical and psychological toll of the accident continues to haunt Flintoff daily, with his facial injuries having a devastating impact on his family relationships.
“I still live it every day, see the car every night when I go to bed, and it’s so vivid. Not slept the same since. It broke my heart that his son was frightened of his face. I’ve got PTSD and I get anxious. For periods of time, I just find myself crying for no particular reason.”
Flintoff reveals he has struggled to maintain relationships with his former Top Gear co-stars, Chris Harris and Paddy McGuinness: “I feel bad I haven’t been in more contact with him and Paddy. Part of it is for myself a little bit. I hate the word triggering, but I’m worried about that.”
He also feels responsible for the impact on their careers. “Their careers have been altered as well. So I feel not guilty, but I feel bad for him.”
Despite the trauma, Flintoff has gradually begun rebuilding his life, finding solace in cricket and taking up coaching, now being the head coach of England Lions, the second string of the national men’s team.
His wife Rachel says cricket and his love of the game have helped to “save” him, as for the first seven months after the accident, he barely left his house except for hospital visits and dental appointments.
The BBC reached a £9million settlement with Flintoff following the accident at Dunsfold Aerodrome in Surrey, with the crash later leading to the corporation shelving the hit motoring show indefinitely.
In response to safety concerns raised by Harris, BBC Studios referenced an independent investigation from 2023 and found the show had complied with industry best practice, but noted there were “learnings which would need to be rigorously applied” if Top Gear were to return.